Super Bowl XLII Predictions Given Eli Manning Can Grow a Full Beard and Moustache Before The Game
While running his brother’s signature no-huddle offense, Eli Manning will throw for 400 yards, 3 touchdowns and no interceptions… in the first half.
Brandon Jacobs will manage to run even harder for his newly ‘stached QB – perhaps to the tune of 200 yards and 2 touchdowns.
It will be proven that Randy Moss not only assaulted that woman but murdered her husband and burned her house down.
Plaxico Burress’ ankle will miraculously heal itself 100% and we will all get to see exactly what he’s made of. He will play at an even higher level than he has the first 18 games this season.
Something resembling this montage will be played on every Sports Illustrated Commercial until the NCAA Basketball Tournament is over... in April.
Jerry Seinfeld will actually show up to the game. Eli will manage to hold back a boner and in a show of utter manhood he will pull both of Jerry’s shoulders from their socket.
An emotion not unlike fear will be seen in the eyes of Bill Belichick.
The Citizen Eco-Drive watch will actually sell 15 more units because of Eli’s new found “unstoppability”.
Jeremy Shockey will man up and play through the pain for the man often mistaken for his girlfriend.
